Titan portrait in progress 3 - A heartbreaking, heartwarming story

This is the incredible story, both heartbreaking and heartwarming, that Alicia told me about the reference photo we’re using for Titan’s portrait. It’s the reason we switched direction with how to capture the essence of him. 

1

This is Titan’s portrait in progress. There’s a reason for the decision to use this particular image. Titan passed away unexpectedly last year while I was starting on a memorial portrait of Wishes for Alicia. Alicia and husband Joe considered adding Titan to Wishes’ portrait. But Wishes was a serious dog and her portrait was soft and thoughtful. Alicia wrote:

“Wishes and Titan couldn’t have been more different. Titan rarely took anything seriously, he was goofy, cheerful, and just a bit mischievous. I used to joke that he was too light‑hearted to stay down for long. He loved being the center of attention and, if he were human, he would have been the class clown. When I look back at photos you can see a twinkle in his eye or a smile on his face in many of his photos. We grew closer after Wishes passed and were starting to develop our own bond, getting into a rhythm and becoming a great team when our time together was cut short.”

2

Alicia had found a picture online of an adult Doberman looking into the camera, with a puppy version of the same dog standing in front of him looking at the camera. She thought that was a cool idea and asked me to recreate that of Titan. 

She sent about 60 photos of Titan. I picked out the ones I could use for a standing adult + puppy. There were only a few puppy pics that would work (the top row). 

Among them was a photo of Titan lying on a bed with a big happy smile. (middle row, far right) As soon as I looked at it I felt that was the right one to capture Titan. 

3

Although it wasn’t the assignment, I suggested that photo to Alicia. They still wanted puppy Titan in the portrait, so I sent these two rough “sketches” (created with Photoshop) of how puppy Titan could be included. I chose this particular puppy photo because of what Alicia had told me about it:

“There is something about that picture to know him, he was mischievous and ornery. If you didn’t know the context behind the photo you might not see it but there is something in his eyes. I had been cutting down my knockout roses and he was picking up the cuttings running around and started eating them THORNS and all. He was the happiest dog and loved attention and would make people laugh not only at his antics but at how he acted.”

4

Alicia and Joe decided they wanted me to keep working on the original idea of the standing adult + puppy Titan. 

By combining 4 different photos (adult standing body, adult smiling head from the bed photo, puppy standing body, puppy head) I created this composite with Photoshop.

5

I suggested different backgrounds for the figures. Either a plain color, or a background scene. Alicia and Joe decided they wanted a scene. I assured them it would be designed to showcase Titan, not distract from him. 

Now I had to invent a scene. This is the original photo that the “adult body” was from. Notice how all the lines in the surroundings point to Titan’s face? 

FOR ARTISTS:

Notice how the lines of the shelves on either side of him go toward a center point as they get farther away. To an artist, that’s because of perspective, and if we continued those lines into the distance (behind Titan) they would converge into a central point. Artists call that the “vanishing point”. That central point happens to be directly behind Titan’s head.

Although it’s not an attractive background, I felt those diminishing perspective lines (like rays of light coming out of the sun) were very effective at showcasing Titan in this original photo. So in a scene I wanted to do something similar, to point your eye straight to Titan in the center. 

6

That gave me my concept. I went through my photo archives (over 300,000 reference photos I’ve taken during my career) and pulled out some background scenes. These gave me my starting ideas. All the lines of a scene would be pointing toward the adult + puppy figures: the edges of a sidewalk or path, the rays of light, the shadows of the figures on the ground.  

This is where the design work of a composition starts.

I sent these to Alicia. She and Joe liked the concept. 

7

By then we were into the Christmas holidays. I continued working at it a bit, gathering reference photos of beautiful background trees from my slide library.

Then I got this message from Alicia:

“I feel awful telling you after all the back and forth over the portrait of Titan and really wanting a portrait of the puppy and adult version, but I have had a change of heart. A few weeks ago I had a dream and didn’t think much of it. Since then I have had the similar dream a few different times which I believe is a sign we need to go with your original intuition of Titan on the bed with no puppy.”

8

I asked Alicia if she would share the dream with me. Below is the photo, and this is what she wrote.

“The first dream I’m sure was triggered by you sending the rendering of him on the bed,and I saw it arriving and how it looked like it belonged alongside Wishes (where he belonged). The next two dreams were more memories of the weekend the photo was taken. There is a long story behind it but it reminded me how resilient and happy he was. I will try to keep the story as short as possible.

"The photo was taken in May 2024,

at a Comfort Inn in Blacksburg, VA the night before an AKC Scentwork trial, the last for the season. I was hanging out on the bed playing with his tug, enjoying himself as you can see by the look on his face. The next day we were at a camp doing a master interior search when he got shocked by a wall outlet with a broken cover, he screamed and it dropped him to the ground and he didn’t move for what felt like a long time when he finally crawled to me. It was in the 3rd and final room of a Master level search which would have been his title. He was really shaken but rallied for me and we were able to do some exterior searches and buried that weekend and he was his happy self as long as we were not going into any buildings other than the hotel. It took several months of hard work to get him to not have an aversion to going into unfamiliar rooms as a result of the shock, during which time we also started the immune suppression to resolve the immunity issue he developed. He had a lot of health challenges with the treatment and we thought we were on our way back. The week before he died he earned his Master exterior title which left him only 1 leg short of earning his overall Masters Title, the leg we were missing was the last interior search we ever entered which was the day after that photo was taken.

"I hadn’t thought about it at the time

when I asked to have a puppy and adult portrait done, and as much as I love the idea and think it would be super cool, there wouldn’t be any emotional attachment to a combined creation as there would be to the photo of him on the bed.”

9

It was hard to read Alicia’s words without getting emotional. The great, courageous heart of a Doberman. ❤️  

I wrote:

“I think you should listen to what Titan is telling you. I don’t remember if I told you when we were working on Wishes portrait, that I have a gift for connecting with the spirit of a loved one on “the Other Side”, and I often feel they are guiding the portrait. I have long since learned to trust what I “get”. I felt that strongly when I saw the photo of Titan on the bed. Now I understand what I was seeing and what I was picking up from that photo. Titan was so joyful to be with you when you took that shot. It shines out of his face. Titan died only one leg short of his Masters title….he did that for you. Because you asked him to. And he had such joy being with you, and working with you. I think Titan wants you to feel that every time you look at his portrait.”

Portrait of “Titan”

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Commissioned by Alicia McCarthy. 

🎨 Prismacolor pencil on “Sky Grey” Canson Mi-Teintes paper, 16 x 20 inches.